Mini Substacks of Reflection
These should be notes, but I can't schedule in notes section. In the spirit of not contorting things to what I think they should be based on imaginary criticisms; I post as a mini stack.
I used to do it too.... still do sometimes.
All those moments when someone online or in real life is doing something that grates on your nerves… mostly because you see yourself in it.
• Make it all about me (did it last week, but hey—less than before)
• Worry incessantly
• Criticize and judge people who are critical and judgmental
• Lean into chaos and pain because it’s familiar, even comforting
• Compare, contrast, and overanalyze to infinity
• Feel suffocated by interaction and blow our tops when all we needed was a moment
• Hide, fight, or flee in fear of judgment
All the things that make us who we are, by nature, flawed. That’s how we survive, grow, and change. I’m not saying we should sit in our own bull$h^t and declare, “I am who I am—deal with it.”
That’s not living.
But I also get that sentiment. I get the exhaustion behind it. I get the desire to stop contorting yourself into shapes that don’t fit.
Here’s where I’ve landed:
We’re all stumbling forward, bumping into our patterns, learning to soften them without erasing ourselves. There’s no flawless version of this work just an honest one infused with graceful acceptance. And that’s enough to keep going with a little more grace, a little more breath, and a lot less self‑punishment.
Because in lessening that mallet of self sabotage we learn to sit in the presence of however it shows up.
