Learn from experience

Versus an empty tank

In my experiences, the times that I "lived" in extreme or radical behavior (whether it be in exercise or food and dieting or even my approach to community and service work or on line activism )

I ended up on an empty tank with zero changes.

Unwinding the all or nothing mentality and living in the present while trying to honor the past and plan for the future is a delicate and sometimes adversarial task.

Society and the news cycle wants you to constantly be in a constant state of needing more or fomo or in a "clickbait environment" because that's how this thing works.

I'm in my age of counter influence and not taking the bait in all the scary things or the "you're gonna get Alzheimer's and cancer (been there done that) if you don't do this that or the other or whatever post , person or group or thing that makes like I'm not enough or I'm not doing enough.

It truly is a daily thing for me. I am a moth to a flame with chaos and also suffering. I also have this weird eidetic memory when it comes to suffering and I internalize it deeply.

I'm working on doing what I can to change myself and also give back in my community and realizing the need to know the why behind all the things is not where my talents and skills do their best.

I'm channeling my hard wired anxiety into what I can control and leaving the rest for God (or creator /higher power/non denominational) to handle.